Molten Lava!

Yes, that's right, I saw some because I hiked up a volcano on Wednesday.
Volcan Pacaya if we're going to be specific.
And I can't say it was necessarily a good idea, although now that most of the soreness is gone and I have picked all the little pieces of lava rock out of my hand, it doesn't seem like as much of a bad idea as it did at the time.

We (me and 13 relative strangers) start our journey up the volcano being mobbed by children wielding sticks. Not really, they are just very enthusiastic about selling me a walking stick. It actually would have been helpful, of course I don't buy one, another not-so-good idea. Then we are introduced to our guide, Manuel. He tells us it is very very important we stick together, like a family. LIKE A FAMILY! TOGETHER! He yells this at us in spanish, very slowly. Like people do when they think if they yell at you, you will understand. Then he offers us the opportunity to take a horse for an additional cost, because it is 1.5 kilometers each way and we are climbing a total of 300 meters. Everyone declines this offer. Then we start walking. I unfortunately was at the back and had the horses on my heels. About a foot behind me. It is a really unpleasant feeling having horses breathing down your neck while you try to climb a dusty, sandy, steep path.

Yes three horses were still there, and anytime anyone would slow down one of the kids riding the horses would yell ''Horse! Taxi! You want? You _____!''
Insert in the blank either 'old', 'fat', 'slow' or 'girl' as applicable.

After walking for about 30 minutes one of the girls was having trouble catching her breath, so she wanted a horse. She didn't speak Spanish, the guide acted like he didn't speak English. So I translated. She wanted to make sure the horse went all the way to the top. The guide said nearly all the way, just five minutes walk after the horse stoped because it was too close to the lava. A price is named, the girl says ok, and away we go. Of course at this point all the kids who had been telling her she was a slow, fat, girl, are now saying ''A pretty horse for a pretty girl, you want this one, my horse''. I think in the future they should stick with either flattery or insults, it seems very insencere when they switch back and forth.

Of course the majority of the group, myself included, walks much slower than the guide, and we keep getting seperated. Not a big deal because the path is clear both because it is well established and full of horse poo and piss. But then he would stop and wait for us and look impatient and yell at us to be together LIKE A FAMILY!!! The third time this happens a lovely English couple and I start to joke about the like a family and it being lost on most of us cultrually.

We walk about another hour and come out of the trees and are looking at a giant lava field. (The little dots of color are people, the gray at the top is clouds around the top of the cone.)


An the guide says to the girl on the horse. Ok the horse stops here. And she looks at him and looks at me and asks ''It's only 5 minutes?'' And ask the guide and he says ''30 minutes more'' and I say, you said the horse went within 5 minutes and he says it can but it will cost more and I say that is not what he said and he says maybe I didn't understand and you get the idea. And the girl gets very uncomfortable and says she is fine and she can walk. I drop it because it's not my money, and the guide looks very smug. And it takes everything I have not to call him a liar. But I don't because I need him to lead me to the lava because after what feels like a forced-march up this thing, I want to see the orange stuff, damn it! One more time he yells about TOGETHER LIKE A FAMILY! VERY IMPORTANT!

So we start across the vast wasteland, and at first it is easy because it is sandy and down hill a little. Then we start up hill. This is where it goes from an unenjoyable walk to very unpleasant. It is like climbing a giant sanddune only this sanddune is out of crushed up lava rock, not sand. It is more dusty than sand (for those who have been to BRC, the level of dust when there is a gentle breeze, and you are getting just Playa dust in your nose and eyes, but not really an unpleasant amount) and sharper than sand, but unstable like sand.

As we keep climbing up it goes from small like sand, to something like sand and small pebbles, then the pebbles get bigger and bigger til they can properly be called rocks. But it is all kinda wobbly so you still slide as you climb and rocks are rolling down. Maybe one the size of a sneaker hits you in the shin and you say some dirty words. And Maybe you fall because the rock you have your right foot on and the rock you are putting your left foot on both slide at the same time. And maybe you put your hand down to catch yourself and you are reminded that lava that has solidified is often very sharp. Then the rocks are large and they dont slide out from under you, the rocks just wobble. And you can feel heat starting to come from the rocks. Perhaps you are reminded of a sauna with the smell of the hot lava rocks and the warm air. And perhaps you wish you were in a sauna instead of on the side of a volcano. Perhaps. But nonetheless you enjoy the pretty sunset that is happening to your right as you climb.

Finally we get to where the MOLTEN LAVA is. And it becomes aparant why if you are going to climb a volcano you do it where there isn't a lot of tort law. Because if you do it in Guatemala the guides encourage you to poke walking sticks into the molten lava flowing out a hole in the side of the volcano. And because people are roasting marshmallows and just generally disregarding safety. And it is kinda refreshing. (The bright flare is someone poking into the lava.)





And the molten lava is cool. And it is cool and a little freaky that you look down and see orange through the cracks in the rocks. And it is cool that even though it was cold five minutes ago, it is very toasty here, near where the magma portion of the earth is coming out of the crust.

Then the guide is yelling ''TIGRES! TIGRES!'' Because that is the name of your group and you all gather and are reminded once again to stay together LIKE A FAMILY! Because now it is dark. Also the obvious is pointed out, that you should get out your flashlight now. And if you are like me and a few other people in the group you get to be cool and pull out your headlamp. (Thanks Liza!) And down we go. A controlled slide the same steepness as before and with more dust (because 15 people are sliding down this lava rocky/sandy/dusty volcanoside). (Think light dust storm on the Playa). And a good amount of controlled falling, onto rocks.
It is very unpleasant, but you look back and there is this glow from the lava flow and there is the last little bit of a sunset, and that makes it worth it, NEARLY.




(This is at the end of the lava-scape. The dots are people's flashlights out on the lava-scape. The glow is from the molten lava.)

And we get off the lava-scape and the guide is waiting for us looking peeved that only one person kept up with him. And into the woods we go. At one point (thankfully I am not leading) some of us went left when the guide (who was way ahead of us, in the dark) had gone right. He finds us, yells at us. Three angry german women yell back at him, in German. And down we go. And he goes fast, and yells, and waits and yells. And I fall flat on my back at one point and yell dirty words, again.

But we get to the end. And the guide, in very good English, which he had not spoken up to that point, tells us that he kindly accepts tips, and as we walk past him to the little comedor to wait for our van he holds out his hand. No one tipped him.

I was blowing black snot for all of Thursday. I used a lot of Arnica cream. And I am very very grateful for my awesome little tweezers with the tiny points. Perfect for digging out shards of lava rock. (Thanks Liza!)

The final verdict- Volcan Pacaya, not really worth it unless you like pain and being yelled at.


My shoes the day after, which looked pretty new 24 hours before this was taken.

I'm headed to Xela tomorrow morning. Antigua just wasn't for me.

And yes, I risked electorcution to wash all the volcano dust off me.